How do I challenge a belief that I know is limiting but I still believe it?
If you’ve been wondering why you are stuck when you’ve been doing everything right - the affirmations, the vision boards, the positive thinking - and it’s not working, this is for you.
The problem is that we attract what we believe, not what we want. All of your ideas and thoughts about what you want are great, but to make it happen we have to challenge those limiting beliefs that are getting in the way because they are blocking you.
So how do we do that?
Well, we know we need to challenge our limiting beliefs but that isn’t always easy. There are beliefs we’ve held onto, maybe for years, or even decades. Some are easy to shift if we outgrow them but others are held very deeply and no amount of positive affirmations will work if we don’t believe them.
Yet challenging and breaking free from limiting beliefs is essential for personal growth and success - so what do we do?
Here are five steps to help you stop even the most stubborn of beliefs:
1. Identify the Limiting Belief
Our first step is to get clear on what the limiting belief is. Ask yourself: What story am I telling myself? For example, "I'm not good enough" or "I can't succeed in business." Writing it down can help make it more tangible and give you the chance to really look at it. It’s often an old story, an echo from the past.
2. Question the Belief
It’s time to challenge the validity of your belief by asking: Is this belief 100% true? What evidence do I have to support it? Often, limiting beliefs are based on assumptions, not facts.
I love Byron Katie’s The Work which focuses on the power of questioning our beliefs.
Once you’ve identified what the belief is it’s time to work out - what is the opposite of this belief?
What are three ways that the opposite is true?
For example
If you believe you can’t succeed in business, ask yourself, is that true? The answer is no.
The opposite is ‘I can succeed in business’
And then you find at least three reasons why that is true.
It could be that you have had success in the past. It could be that you are determined to find a way to succeed and are willing to keep going until you do. If could be that you are resourceful and able to get support when you need it.
Sometimes you need to sit with the question for a while because if this old belief is stuck, your creative brain needs time to find it’s way to a new thought. Be patient with yourself.
3. Reframe with Empowering Beliefs
Replace the limiting belief with a new, empowering one.
I think one of the mistakes that we make here is we try to go too far and our brain won’t accept it. If our thought is ‘I can’t succeed in business’ the reframe is not ‘I am a millionaire’ - at least not yet! What we need to do is find something we can believe that takes us in the right direction.
Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try, “I am constantly growing and learning.” This reframing allows your brain to see new possibilities. When we see new possibilities our brain stays on the lookout for evidence that supports that and this is how our beliefs about ourselves change.
4. Take Action to Disprove the Limiting Belief
Step outside your comfort zone and take small, positive actions that directly counter your belief. If you believe you're not good at public speaking, for instance, practice in front of a small audience. Every step you take will weaken the old belief.
5. Repeat and Reinforce the New Belief
Come back to what you’ve written - what is the opposite of your old belief and why is that true? For stubborn beliefs, we need to consciously look for the evidence of our new belief which will strengthen it over time.
If you recognise that mindset issues are your stumbling block I have something for you. The Good Girl Rebellion app (can be used on your phone, tablet or computer) was designed to give you a microlesson each day to implement to help clear your blocks. This isn’t a course, it’s not about learning something new (we need to stop that are start doing!). It’s about working on the issues that stop you including money mindset, decision making, imposter syndrome, dealing with criticism, boundaries and more.